Why if you say you love me as much as you do, how can you seriously feel that your decision is in our best interests?
It's been 2 days since you gave me the news. I am like a ghost, everything I do simply has no meaning anymore. Everything that I would like to do just has no meaning if it means that you're no longer with me.
I go to sleep at night thinking that this is only a bad dream and when I finally wake up, everything will be ok. I have problems sleeping because every hour or so I will jump up in fright and realise that it's all real. I have not been able to eat for the past 2 days.. everything I try to ingest just comes back out again.. even plain water just comes back up again..
I have never ever been in such bad shape over anybody. I just cannot bring myself to accept that it is really over.. What am I to do? I know the logical thing is to slowly allow time to heal my wounds and move on.. I just cannot see that happening.. because I know that I love this man so much, so so much.. that I am willing to sacrifice everything just to be with him.
I've never thought that this kind of love ever existed. The crazy head over heels kind of feeling, the feeling where you just cannot wait to start your lives together no matter how difficult, no matter how long it takes, the vision of reaching there is sufficient. Sure, it gets me down sometimes, but never for very very long.
No words will ever be enough to describe how I love this man. He was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Honestly. And I asked myself time and time again, if I had to do it all over again, would I? Even though I now know how tough it is, how upset I can get, all the ups and downs, all the fights and quarrels, would I?
My answer is Yes. I have never regretted stepping into this relationship with you and I never will. You are the only man who has ever made me feel this way and even if you're not with me in future, that will never ever change.
Even though you hurt me now.. I cannot let go of you. I just can't. I know I should, but I simply can't.. I know I will carry on waiting for you.
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